Sunday, Nov 8

I just want to keep this day with a post. A post about anything shall do as today, this year marks a special date.

Reading back the "Journals" really meant a lot. Something I realize in every context of the "journals", there is some educative part. Its like the experience I'd been through, the knowledge I had learned and the solution I made was all indirectly expressed in the "journals". Ever since I was fifteen, I was giving advices to those around my age. Until today, I think I'm still doing the same as in to care for friend's feelings not a quidnunc. Its like when I see them happy, I fell happy. Just that simple. No matter what happens, Life still goes on...rite? Just like Isabelle's perception and what I acquired since a very long time ago, "Happy or Sad, the pendulum swings as the day passes...Why don't we go through it Happily?" The fact is every hour we spent with sadness, the earth still rotates and time flies without even you noticing it. Or simply allocate more time to be happy instead of sadness. I'm sure life is a lot brighter that way.

Yvonne always reminds me these days to "don't worry, be happy" just like the chipmunkfied song she posted to me in my FB wall. To tell the truth, being an adviser is very easy, but taking the advice as the victim is harder than you think! From now, I think I will have to come out with a better solution to solve such matters. We strive for the best and always keep it simple!

Journal 9 (Final)

Do not regret on the things we had done in the past, no matter how pain it was or how excruciating it felt...

Learn from both our own and others mistakes, as it will lead an easier path...

Move on when the time is right, do not look back but look forward towards the future...

Rely on those who cares and love, the world is not empty after all...

Today, I finally got an answer for everything. No doubt feelings of depressions kept on flowing like a never ending stream, but it is the fact that I must accept! Thankfully, I did myself a little self preparation for this to come... It hurt though....very much. No matter what, this is life and it was not the first time I had experienced it. Accept everything life gives you and embrace it with courage if you want to live. Everyday passes by despite it is sunny or rainy the whole day. Why not filled it with joyfulness and laughter instead of sadness and despair. My ability is to deliver a bright smile to all~~ I will keep that smile until the end of days...

I was able to get through this with Isabelle with me for a couple of hours this morning during the wee hours. Then, I had Yvonne to joke around with earlier today. Monkey to update and Windy to express my stoness just now. See, the world seems to be filled with people.

The purpose of this journal had been fulfilled to tell all that was in my heart and mind. Since the case is closed, there is no need to express my emotions towards the matter anymore. Hopefully next time, Journal 10 will be about good news and tells a great tale of e2life filled with joy and laughter all the way. Before I close this final entry for the Journal Series, appreciation and gratitude must be shown towards a few people.

Very Special Thanks to

-for being there for me all the time no matter where and when with unlimited support -cheering me up always, listening to whatever crap I have to say and giving me very impressive advices

- to tell me to shut up, stand up and start walking.

-The constant companionship to clubs, foods, ****, etc

Without these people, I don't think I would get through this easily. I know that I'm not alone for

"This is what friends are for"

Journal 8

Ever since a week ago, it looks like a full joyful 7 days. Everyday, it seems like I had lots of activities to do. Daily activities such as Jogoya dinner last Wednesday with everyone, then coming to damansara at Bryan's (my lovely lil cousin bro) since last Friday, attended Clive's event at Zouk last Saturday nite to support Jason, had swimming session with Chun Wei/Harry then dinner with Yvonne, class on Monday, Squash with Bryan then class today and meeting Belle tmr. Its great to keep my mind occupied with events and stuff like these... At least I won't be thinking too much.

Problems are meant to be solved. Sooner or later, I might have to face it again. I can say, for now I'm doing good, but I know this will not last. The only thing I know can last is when I'm able to settle this. Memories does haunt when certain things came across....

Having a wonderful week is meaningless without the company of these people... I take this opportunity to give special thanks to Isabelle, Chun Wei/Harry and Yvonne.

"Monday Blues"

So much so for "Monday Blues" for this week's Monday. Here are some small events that me and a wonderful girl that everyone is fond of did.

As for the picture of the day
Introducing

AH Belle aka Isabelle

We had our exam in the morning, then headed to her house to pick up something and had our lunch at plaza damas, Hartamas. Basically, the whole day's major activities were held there. This wonderful friend of mine did not do her assignment, so here comes Terry the hero to save her again. Starbucks was the place right to do homework / assignment. While I was finishing up the reference page, she had her time zipping her ice blended coffee while picking up a few magz to entertain herself. She came across a page that introduces several recipes for some simple cooks with the dish titled "potato love" (pic available at my FB pictures). She felt a sudden interest on cooking that dish and decided to go groceries shopping to prepare the dish later on. Due to her iPhone's "great technology" the camera failed by having a suckie lens and the missing of a bluetooth hardware, she had to literally copy down the info's direct from the page to a piece of paper.

Here is how she does it...



After awhile, interference.....



After all, its up to my K770i to be the main tool for the day. Clear pictures with Sony's Cybershot's advantages. :D

Work was done and Starbucks doesn't seemed to be a nice place for chatterz... We headed down to a tea shop to continue on with stories related to my journals. A pot of rose tea and a 3 ply sandwich would just suits in perfect! (It was her idea)

I serve

She drinks

I drink



slurppp....ahhhh..... Nice!

The sandwich was huge with bacon, lettuce, cucumber, tomatoes and sour apple sauce within. We shared half each.



Judging by her expression, the sandwich looks delicous

With me biting slowly so that she can capture a pic of me eating it :S

Seriously, this pic can cause misunderstandings

Tea was over and its time to head back. Something was wrong with the AutoPay machine. While waiting for them to fix it, we realized that we almost forgotten to shop for the materials to cook. There wasn't any Cold Storage in the mall, but there was a super market in there.

Carrots?

Lettuce

Choosing very professionally on which oyster sauce to use...

Well, it seems like everything's almost done

Before we leave, a snapshot to keep this memorable memory.

Time to go, time to leave...bye bye

Till the next activity

Journal 7

These few days.....everything seems to be going fine. Probably its due to the companion I received from my fellow friends. I fully utilized my time by keeping it occupied. I'm all okay for now.

"Too much of something is NOTHING"

This phrase is a very strong one. Always keep that in mind. It applies for EVERYTHING! To further explain this phrase, I'll give a simple example to illustrates what does this means.

Everyday, parents gives allowance to their child. The child uses the money like how its normally spent. For one day, the child does not receive the money...go to ask parents for it and they said "no". The child will automatically feel pissed with anger and frustration.

This story is telling that the child did not appreciate the generosity from the parents by giving daily allowances, in fact the child had bad feelings for it because the child thinks that its a must for parents to give money. By right, appreciation should be shown to the parents daily.

The main point I'm trying to tell is the treatment we give to others and how should we show gratitude to others. Sometimes, we treat a person good once in awhile is better than always treating them good if the person does not how to show appreciation. We do good does not mean we want the person to treat us back good. All we wanted is for the person to appreciate! That's all.....Tell me if anyone disagree with this. But of course, I don't mean to tell you to stop doing what you are doing. In fact keep it up! Just remember to know what you are doing exactly and everything should turn up fine. As long as we learn to appreciate, I believe the world would become a better place.

Well, for some might think that I'm hinting on someone or something here...I can tell you straight, NO. Its just what I wanted to share for quite some time.

Journal 6

What the hell?!! This morning I shook myself awake from a dream. I shouted "get me out of here! I don't wana be here!" while I shook head hardly from left to right and right to left. Its not a nightmare with eerie or scary monsters appearing. This is something more reality. It was like a preview of the future that what would be the possibilities if I had done what I was planing to do. Being scared and pulling myself out from it means I can't accept it. I'm too afraid to accept it. Should I continue? or I should stop it right now? I'm very confused.

Guided by those who cares for me, both their assumption of the response are negative. What should I do now? Furthermore, there was this dream....

Here I can assure to everyone that I am NOT okay. The things I do, the activities I'd carried out and the events I attended are all a form of distraction. I've tried to apporach, tired to talk, tried to make conversation but everything seemed to be not in favour to me. I'm really lost right now.


Looking at the dark sky makes you daze,
Looking at you makes me amaze,
Loosing sight is a sign of turning blind,
Thoughts are controlled by the great mind.

Journal 5

Everyday, I hope it will get better or maybe easing up by a little. How come this feeling never ends? It always comes back whenever it flashes across my mind and ending up affecting my emotions. I just wish that time can be turned backwards so that I can go through everything again, but this time without any mistakes. I would know what are the right choices, expressions, words and emotions to coop with situations. There were two movies that really touched me when I watched them. Its about having second chances in life. I really wished that I can have that chance.

1st movie: If Only.

This is a movie with a very romantic plot where the guy did not appreciate his girlfriend until she meet an accident and pass away. The time lenght in the movie is only two days. On the 1st day, the guy was very busy with work, stuff, meetings, friends and all. He did not really pay much attentions to his girlfriend. At the end of the day, she was really upset and left the guy in a taxi. Just about a couple of metres away, that taxi was crashed by another vehicle and caused the girl's life. He regretted deeply with an excruciating pain penetrating his heart where a wound that will never heals took its place. The whole incident took place just within a day. He was then miraculously given a second chance to do all over again on that specific day. Similar incidents of the previous day took place where he lost his precious love. He tried everything in his power to stop them but soon to realise that those occurrence occurred again. Realising that avoiding is useless, he loved his girlfriend like there was no tomorrow. At the end, he took over his girlfriend's death place as he scarified himself for his love. Indeed, this is a very touching story.

If Only that I were to be given a second chance, I will not repeat my same mistakes and take all preventative measures to prevent history from repeating. I shall be condemned if the same things reoccur. We can only learn from the past. It will be useless only if we don't learn from it. Just like the incidents that took place during the 1st day.We do make mistakes, the most important thing is that he learnt them and applied what he learnt on the 2nd day. He knew he ignored his GF's feelings. He knew he did not treated her well. The main key is where he gets to tackle those mistakes by doing his very best to his GF. Too bad in reality, there is no such thing as turning back time. Life is freaking cruel where once its done, its forever.

2nd movie: Click

This comedy flick hit the cinemas in 2006 starring Adam Sandler. I believed that most of you all had seen this movie before. For those who hasn't, its a bout this man who puts his job no.1# Everything in his life was all about his work until he neglected his family. One day, he felt like his life is moving so slow and wished that he had a universal remote control to control everything in his life. His wish was granted and was told to use it wisely. Soon, he start experimenting with that remote to find out that it is really a useful tool. He can skipped whatever he doesn't likes and gets the end result of it. Due to what he had done with the control initially, it automatically programs itself and start controlling the occurrence according to whatever it he had done. It skipped his children's growth time, skipped his romance with his wife, skipped his attentions towards his parents and many more. The remote piratically took over his life until the day he dies. His last words towards his son was to take care of his sister and not to repeat his mistakes. To his ex-wife is written on a tissue " will you love me tomorrow?" with his answer "forever and ever". Lastly, and international sign language (the middle finger) to his wife's current husband. Surprisingly, he woke up to find out that it was just a dream. His plans totally changed and did whatever he can to prevent that incident from happening. Another second chance granted.

Once again, people only learn from the past. The past is what makes up the future. If there was something wrong in the past, we do better in the future. In the movie, there was a projection to the future so that he was able to see / foresee every possible thing that will take place if he continues with what he is doing. If I could foresee what I was doing back then, I can GUARANTEE that this WILL NOT happen. I believe that we could be happily talking to each other right here, right now! Remember, life always sucks. Life was not intended to be nice. Seriously, how I wished that everything can be just like how it used to be now.

Honestly speaking, I really regretted for my past mistakes, mischiefs and misbehaviour. That is why my previous journal entry was about CHANCE.

Note: These journal entries was intended as a diary for myself. It is made public today for those close to me to learn from my mistakes so that simliar incidents will never happen to you.